Forgettable
by Starhey
Summary: <html><head></head>AU. Jack and Elsa have loved each other for a lifetime. Only a love that big can hurt that much. / "All I've ever known is this invisibility… all my existence I've been alone." / "I loved Jack so much… that is the only thing that made it at least a little easier to be forgotten."</html>


**So, I had a new idea. I hope to continue with it soon. This isn't as angsty as my other fics for now, but I'll get there in further chapters, this is just an intro and it's kind of short... I don't know yet if I like this, but I really hope you do. As always, I'll thank if you could point out my mistakes, it helps me with English, and this one in particular was written in such a hurry. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing but the idea.**

**ENJOY.**

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><p>It was when I was very young that my mother first told me the story of how I got my powers and Jack Frost died trying to save my life.<p>

I was entranced with every word of the story, of my very own story. Decades later, I can still hear her words; I still know the narration by heart. Sometimes I tell the story to myself, whispering the old tale because I still need to hear it. Through the pass of my days I haven't become any less afraid to forget how the rest of my life begun… and his.

That day changed everything. For the better… but who knows… maybe both our lifes were better off untouched. Untangled.

Anyway… now is too late, and he is happy, wherever he may be now.

I have no regrets, not one.

But still… I need to repeat the story to myself.

Maybe just until I fall asleep.

Maybe just one last time.

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><p><em>Have you forgotten, Elsa? Or is it just that you like this story so much? <em>

_Come closer to my bed, my dear, I'm really tired now, because your new little sister spent awake all the night. Are you warm? Be careful with the magic._

_It all began last summer, dear. Your father loves summer's weather so much. He took you and me on field trips every weekend, and he also took some palace servants with us so they could help us. _

_There are quite a few places as beautiful as the forests of Arendelle. Do you remember them, Elsa? In summer they were greener than ever, and the flowers bloomed about, here and there. The birds sang all at once, as if they knew they could sound that lovely. And the air, Elsa, the air of our forests could make the lungs feel wide open. The wind was fresh to breathe, and it made the grass sound like it was whispering bedtime stories. _

_Do you remember Jack, Elsa?_

_He is there now, forever in the forest. I owe him a debt that I wish I could pay… But we will get to that. _

_You always were such a restless child, and you loved the forest so much that it was easy for daddy and me to lose track of you. And despite the beauty of the forest, there are some places there that are beyond our limits and are dangerous. Your father and I feared so much that someday you would go there without knowing and… heaven forbid. _

_That is why we always took Jack with us. We trusted him with our lives. He was a boy who grew up in the palace. He was son to one of our maids, but she passed away before Jack was even five years old and of course we couldn't just send him away. He was a funny boy, and I enjoyed watching him playing in the gardens from my balcony. As he grew up, he became less attached to me, but back when he was just a boy he would follow me around the castle, asking questions, making me laugh. _

_When you were born, Elsa, he was around sixteen, and he loved you at once. I could tell by the look in his eyes. Those days, he hadn't been around the palace that much, but you came and it was like the castle was his home again. And even though you were just a tiny baby, I could see that you liked it around Jack too; you would stop crying if it was him who was holding you, you smiled at the sound of his voice and could peacefully fall asleep if he caressed your forehead. _

_If daddy and I needed to go somewhere or to take care of something, Jack would be in charge of you. I do believe he knew you better than anyone, sometimes I even got a little bit jealous, but I never stopped being thankful for how much he cared for you._

_When you learned how to walk, he started taking you to the gardens, staying there with you for hours, and then carrying you back to me, sleeping exhausted in his arms. _

_Jack was, in many ways, part of our family. Part of you. _

_Do you remember him, Elsa? You too loved him so much._

_Summer came again, and Jack came with us to our weekend fieldtrips, running after you, making sure you didn't hurt your knees. Your daddy chuckled watching you being so restless and Jack trying to keep up, not even seeming tired. _

_When the sun was starting to come down from the top of the sky, we were all sitting on the floor, below the shadows of the tallest trees, eating apple pie. You were sitting between me and Jack, when a butterfly came by and you fidgeted, pointing at it, trying to catch it. _

"_Do you want the pretty bug, Elsa?" Jack asked, his voice holding that sweetness that we only get to hear in it when he was addressing you. _

_You laughed, and got up after him when he did. He jumped and jumped, trying to catch the butterfly, and you were standing behind him waving your arms._

_It all happened in less than a second. Something caught your attention, I never knew what it was, but you ran through the tall bushes and didn't stop. Before I could even react and scream your name, Jack had already turned around, as if he had felt you leaving, and was running in the same way you had. _

_Your father and I followed shortly after. The three of us were desperately screaming your name. Jack was also screaming at us that he could see you, and at you that you needed to stop. _

"_She's going there!" his voice stroke. _

_You were too young to know, Elsa. Too young to know where the danger is in the forest. Where the magic hides, and steals, and hurts…_

_I was running as fast as I could, but Jack quickly left us behind, screaming your name like his life depended on it._

_My heart skipped a beat when suddenly his voice stopped screaming in the middle of your name. I knew something was wrong, I knew that you, my baby, were in trouble. I ran faster still, my lungs burning. The air around me became colder with every step I took, and I could see your father's breath next to mine, visible because of the air's coldness. Around us, the trees started to be covered in frost, and our feet were wet with the snow that suddenly was covering the grass of the forest. I knew that we were coming closer and closer to the core of the forest, the one place I never wanted you to be at… and you were already there. _

_Suddenly, your dad extended his arm before me. _

"_Stop!" he screamed. I stopped running just in time, for some giant ice needles started to grow from the floor up to the sky. They were almost as tall as me. I stood on tip toes and managed to watch Jack, and you. _

"_Elsa!" came my voice, and the voice of your dad. He put a hand on one of the needles, in order to climb it and get to you, but he cut his hand in a way that wasn't possible. I knew it was because of the magic. To verify, I put one finger on the ice, and started bleeding. My whole arm hurt almost as much as my soul did, understanding that we could not get to you. _

"_Jack…" I whispered. Then I screamed. "Jack!" And I kept on screaming his name, for it was all that my voice could managed, but those screams were pleads for him to save you, it was me telling him that I trusted him, that I loved you, that he could bring you back. "JACK!"_

_The needles were growing slowly, but we still could watch… _

_Just where the other side of that magic wall of ice ended, started a lake that was frozen. The sky above it was even darker that the one of the night that had already fallen upon us, and floating just above the middle of the lake was a creature whose name I couldn't tell. I remembered trolls from my grandmother's stories, and fairies from my old book's drawings, but that, I had never seen nor ever saw again. It was like a man's shadow, but it seemed to be made of light in the inside, for his opened mouth, and nostrils, and eyes, shone like the moon at night. You were standing almost below it. I got chills, because you were staring at it without even blinking and it was staring back at you. It was coming down slowly, I know it was coming for you, I know it. The creature moved like it was breathing, and every time it breathed again, it made all the surroundings colder. _

_Jack was steps behind, by the edge, also staring at the scene. He was walking slowly towards you, his arms extended before him. His big brown eyes danced form you to it, that was approaching to you in a way that my brain recognized as slowly but my soul felt that was fast. _

_That thing was almost a head taller than you, I could see it when it was already next to you. By then, Jack was already halfway there. I still remember the look on his face, Elsa, his eyes feared for you. They had the kind of shadow that eyes have when you know that what you love the most is in danger. I have not seen anyone but your dad look at you with that kind of eyes… and an instant later they were gone forever…_

_A terrible sound came from that thing, and it made everyone there but you cover their ears to avoid the pain, you just were immune to it. At the same time, the icy wall of needles between us and the lake vanished, and your dad and I started running towards you, fearing it would be too late, for when it made the sound, that thing's arms rose towards you, and a light like the one shining from its inside bloomed and grew between his opened palms. Instinctively, I knew that it was ready to fire. To fire at you. _

_I was still running when I saw it all. The thing ready to blast, my heart pounding painfully, and my eyes covered in tears. Jack ran to you, with that look still on his eyes. When he got to you, he carried you, holding you tightly between his arms. The only thing he had time to do was to turn around…_

_I will never forget the sound of the explosion. _

_It is the only thing I can remember about the blast that took Jack's life away, for when the light coming from that thing's hands hit Jack in the back of the neck, everything went blindingly white. _

_One…_

_Two…_

_Three…_

_Four…_

_It took four heartbeats for everything to go back to normal. The white dissolved and the night was back. We were standing on green grass and only a thin layer of cold water remained of the frozen lake that had been there. The creature was gone, and with it, the cold. The silence and the beauty of the forest were back as if it had never gone. The only thing that changed, were you two. _

_Your eyes were wide open and you looked around confused. You look just the same when you are waking up from a nap. But before that day your hair was the color of Anna's, and your skin is paler ever since. When I finally got to you and held you, I noticed that you were cold, and it was only a matter of days until we discovered the magic. _

_Jack… Jack had changed like you, but worse… his skin wasn't paler, it was almost see through, and his hair wasn't just a light shade of blond, it was white. He was really, really cold, so cold that it hurt to touch when your dad and I turned him around. And he wasn't awake. _

"_Jack…?" I said his name yet another time that day. _

"_He has no pulse." Your father said to confirm what we already knew, what I knew since the moment I saw him take that blast in your place. What I knew that he had also known. _

_But still we screamed at him, we shook his body, we cried, we begged, trying to wake him up. I knew we couldn't just stay there forever, and his body was actually painful to touch, but I'll always regret not carrying him back with us, for when we came back it was gone and we never found him. We left a big white rock in the spot where he felt dead. _

_Almost a year has gone by already. I don't know if you remember Jack, Elsa, and this isn't a story that's easy for me to tell, but I will tell it to you again and again and again, because I do want you to remember him. Is the least I can do for him. _

_I hope you remember him. But if you don't, I'll help you remember and I'll never let you go of him. For now, the most important thing you need to know about Jack was that he love you with all his heart. I think that his love even lasted beyond his death, because while it hurt your dad and me to touch him, the whole time you were holding his hand tightly with your little one. _

_Just remember that, Elsa. Remember that he loved you, and it will be as if you remembered him._

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><p>I finish telling the story to myself, and it is as if I could hear my mother's voice echoing across time. And just like ever since she told me the story for the first time, I can help but to smile when it finishes.<p>

Because she got it all wrong.

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

It took four heartbeats for everything to change. It took four heartbeats for his heart to stop and become forever mine.

Four heartbeats and along came the real beginning of the story of me and Jack.

Our love is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I miss it so very much...

And even though he doesn't know who I am anymore, my mother's whish came true… I will never, ever forget Jack and that he once loved with all his heart.


End file.
